Beware Of Imitations

You can get a fake Tag Heuer or Rolex anywhere. It looks just like the original, and sometimes the fakers do such a great job, that you have to get an expert to tell the difference.

At least for internet personalities and blogs, fake ones can easily be told apart from the real deal. Still, there will always be some folks who'll fall for it.

I was browsing through Malaysiakini one night, reading through the columnists rants and letters when I saw a link to an article by fellow blogger Zainol (or known as MahaGuru). Title? "Blogger Zorro's Sound Advice To Hindu Racists In Malaysia".

Ok, this should be interesting. Zorro (Bernard Khoo's alias) is rather well known on the Malaysian blog circuit for his liberal attitudes, and apparently he has something to say to those 'riff-raff' from Hindraf for not um... not knowing their place last Sunday. But first, a beer...

After getting a Heineken from the fridge, I had a look at Zorro had to say. Intro and praise by Mahaguru about Zorro's reputation for straightforward comment. And followed by rhetoric on how those Malaysians who disagree with the status-quo should just get out of Malaysia. I've read about similar stuff being said at Umno Youth meetings...

And Zorro's comment was about those oh so ungrateful Hindu Indians, how they're building shrines to their gods all over the country, and an Umno-style keris-waving warning to them not to rock the boat, or else...

There was a problem...

It didn't sound like it was written by Zorro at all.


If you know Zorro/Bernard well, you'll know that threatening folks who don't know their place in Malaysia is not his modus operandi at all. Especially folks who come from one of the most disadvantaged ethnic groups in this country.

And yes, the article had multiple grammatical errors.

No prizes for guessing, someone indeed had impersonated Bernard and wrote what was (in KTemoc's words), a "purported post of bigotry and a piece of nasty shit but a bloody crock of shit". Or in other words... black propaganda. We have an impostor in our midst. Thats bad.

Even worse was that someone had... err... fallen for it, and reprinted the whole damn comment from the impostor in his blog, as its something he agrees with. Not the first time this has happened.

Eventually, things sort themselves out in this case. After being contacted by the Real Zorro, the article was quickly removed from MahaGuru's blog. And later followed by an apology for being taken in by an impostor that was so obviously not the Real Zorro.

We may never know the real identity of Zorro's impostor. But we know that this is not the end, there will be more of this black propaganda coming out the closer we get to Election Day. A healthy dose of cynicism and skepticism is your best bet in combating this deluge of nonsense that would flood your Inbox, and prevent you from being made a sucker.

And I pray I'm skeptical enough not to be suckered...



P.S. if you haven't heard, the machas from Hindraf were not involved in the Bollywood-style "dooshm! dooshm!" fight at that restaurant...



And yes, here's that article from the impostor for your reading pleasure...

I received today in my blog here a comment from one established and very wise fellow Malaysian Blogger whom I respect and appreciate his straight to the point observations.

He is amongst the stalwarts of the Malaysian Blogosphere and the man doesn't pull any punches!
As his Blogging ID entails, Zorro never runs away from facing up to the bad ones amongst us here in the Blogosphere.

It is my pleasure and honor to present to you El Zorro with his zig zag cut you down version of how he sees things regarding the racist extremists amongst HINDRAF members trying to create a storm right here in our beloved nation.

It is Malaysians like him who makes me believe that there is still hope for us to build a better Malaysia, home for all reasonable and rational folks. Those who don't like it can vamoose to wherever they say the grass is greener and bullshit smells like perfume!

Arriba arriba andele...

***********************************************************************************

Hi all,

Racial. Racist. All country in this world have this problem.

Including America (to African American), China and Japan. How about India???

Well for your info, in India, the TAMILS were discriminated against by the Urdu. Even Sikhs were economically better than the Tamils. Apart from some Tamil superstar, other Tamil population in India are very poor.

Have any of you here gone to India??? Why did the British bring the Tamil races here???

Why??Why??

Simple… majority of the Tamil in Malaysia are coming from the lower caste, which suddenly when they arrive in Malaysia and have a good life, they change their caste (Which is illegal in Hindu. If a a Ksatriya, forever u are Ksatriya. If you are untouchable, forever u are untouchable.)

All this lower castes were sent by the higher castes of the new Indian Government after the Chola Dynasty that lost the war with the British and Mogul empire. They sold their lower caste people to the British to wage the war with Mogul and other Tamil prince..

Hehehehe.. thats why the majority of Tamil Malaysians don't want to go back to India.

Can u imagine the Tamils from Malaysia going back to India?? Work all day, their females getting raped by the higher caste (which is also illegal in Hinduism), and they cannot go up of their caste like in Tamil Movie.. all that just a fantasy, which made Rajnikant a Tamil film hero and also very rich.

Thats about racist… how about religion????

In India, all the world know what they did to Muslim, Christian, Sikh and also Hindu (lower caste).

No need to elaborate. What's the situation in Malaysia??? Simple.. The Hindu practitioners are not a majority. Just around 2 million only.

BUT… they build so many temple for different type of gods in so many places.

Is it logical to build a Hindu temple in a Malay majority population area???

Is it logical to build a Hindu temple at a Chinese majority population area???

And, is it logic to build a big mosque in an Indian majority population area? I speak about facts.

When I was a small kid in Ipoh, there is a small Hindu temple beneath a palm oil tree.

In a Chinese majority neighborhood. Every week they placed food offerings, and many things that generate a not so good smell.. I remember many of my Chinese friends went there to steal milk, eggs and fruits and placed them at their grandparents tombs..

As a summary, the Malaysian Government also demolishes mosques in Malaysia. If and when it is necessary.

Why are there no complaints about Buddhist temples being destroyed??? Because they build the temples in the right place. Think and then reply to my email.. Give me facts ok?.. Facts!

You want to demolish the Bumiputra status?

Never cross that boundary. This is a warning.

Don't go cross that boundary my friend. Think before you act.

If you don't care about your self, then care about your family and your next generation when you are unable to even pick the “madhu” bottle.

If you choose to elect DAP, Sammy Vellu will no longer have power in the BN.

Which after this, MIC will be unable to make demands to the BN. Hehehehe.

That's good actually.. Don't you forget that the BN will never lose even if there are no Indian supporters.

At Ijok, the BN put an Indian as the Wakil Rakyat.

Be careful. Don't be trapped by the leader that wants to have power.

Religion has been used by Atal Behari Vajpayee to rise into power. He used it very well. He also triggered the Hindu-Muslim clashes that killed 10,000 Muslim (mostly females and children). What a fact huh!

The special status of Bumiputra is a status given to protect Malays. It maybe not relevant now. But it needs time to implement the changes.

Now we use the meritocracy system to enter University. The Malaysian Government also does not select Malays as government civil servants even though Malays have more than qualified certificates. Because there are reserved places for Chinese and Indian officers. Government contracts are still given to Malays but at the end of the day, such contracts are also distributed together with their MIC and MCA cronies.

Mingle around... To Muslims! Don't be too extreme (like PAS). To Hindu's! Don't be too extreme (Like Hindraf).

Imagine if we make the illegal temple demolitions as a big issue, suddenly PAS take this as their political weapon and use it to trigger the more extremist factions to retaliate.... What will happen???

Some of you tell me that Singaporeans do not practice this double class standard.

You are wrong.. do you know that Singapore does not allow Malays to become soldiers????

Whilst in Malaysia, our Government begs the Chinese and Indians to become Government servants.

In Singapore there are no Tamil schools or Malay schools. There are only Government Schools.

Why Indians in Malaysia want to have Tamil schools???? Why our government does not use force for all Malaysians to study only in government schools like in Singapore and India?

If you argue that our Government is too soft. I agree. Thats true my brothers.

My friend Abdul Halim (previously he was a Hindu. Converted as a Muslim around 3-4 years ago) told me that HINDRAF is also not satisfied because of many religious things such as Sharia law, temples and many more.

He also gave me much information about HINDRAF to me and my fellow friends.

My answer is yes, you have a point to argue. But don't do anything to trigger the extreme dark side of the majority of the Malay population. Please don't.

We are still in a process to build up our nation. Arguing and debating will increase our knowledge. Which is very good. I know about what the Malaysian Indian community have gone through.

I also know what the Malays have gone through. At the end of the day it is up to us to help our selfs.

Not depending on Government subsidy or place or anything. I have not received any subsidy my bro... the Chinese have not received any subsidy my bro... I am right am I not??

Don't u hate it when I always have facts?

I have many Indian friends here at my workplace. (An International University).

They told me that the HINDRAF 's resolution isn't wise.

Whether they are lying to me or or not I don't know. But I welcome anybody who wants to meet me and I will introduce you to them.

I like facts and statistics. Give me more. We can carry on debating. Want to play?? C'mon….

Love,

Zorro.

Malaysiakini and Malaysia Today is the playground of this fighter for all Malaysians. You might run across him and the All Blogs taikors whenever there is a major issue at play or a Blogger gets arrested and incarcerated. Zorro will definitely be there to save the day! Hahahahaha.

What Information Minister Zam Wants For Christmas...

Finally! Something for those pesky Malaysian bloggers!

Well, short of banning the Internet in Malaysia, there's nothing Ol' Zam can do about it!

But he can always buy this T-Shirt.

Note to bloggers, don't freak out when you see him with that shirt on!




I should ask Jeph for advertising money...

A Photo Taken At 'Giant' Supermarket

I was at Giant this morning to get some stuff and antihistamines for a rather bad flu I'm having. Got the day off work too. Then I saw this at the checkout counter...


While in States, P.O.S. usually stood for "Piece Of Shit"... a term used to describe lousy equipment like Acer computers and Microsoft ME, as well as people you don't like.

For those who haven't worked as a cashier, P.O.S. in this case actually means Point Of Sale. But if the software crashes often, charges customers double, or fucks up your inventory records, then its certainly a Piece Of Shit System.

But I've never had any big problems with Giant at the checkout...

More Explosions Than Any Hollywood Action Movie: Turkish Star Wars

I didn't get to see the last 30 minutes of "Turkish Star Wars", thanks to my PC crashing from the mass of idiocy from the .mpeg movie file.

Until one day... I was browsing through the Internets and came across a YouTube of the ending...

To describe the scene, our hero has to fight all these creatures below before dealing with the bad boss:

• "skeleton" soldiers with Spanish conquistador helmets
• giant red Elmo's
• giant black Elmo's
• some knights wielding rayguns
• a Chinese stereotype & an African stereotype
• toilet paper Egyptian mummies
• a 3-meter tall creature with spaghetti for claws
• some robot made from a blue-gray plastic rubbish bin and an orange siren light

I hope you'll enjoy and appreciate the fine workmanship that's gone into making this masterpiece of Turkish Cinema...

AHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAAA!

The Spaced Race

UMNO's General Assembly has come and gone. Daggers and keris were wagged and smooched, more promises made to uplift the Malays, and each delegate tried their best to outdo their rivals on the podium with non-issues and more rethoric. This time, the ruling party made the decision not to allow live TV coverage of the event. When they last did that, their antics was displayed for all of Malaysia to see and deride.

One of the most amusing parts of local politics is the creation of fanciful phrases. Mahathir did it with his "paradigm shift". Najib also did it with "glokal". For this General Assembly, this year's buzzword would be "mengangkasa bangsa", or "spacing the race" (and obviously the Malay race). Obviously this is a reference to Dr. Muszaphar, our first astronaut in space who blasted off last month, thanks to Russian rocket technology.

Translated, "mengangkasa bangsa" or "spacing the race" means uplifting the Malay race to lofty & stellar heights, socioeconomically, of course.

But translated LITERALLY, Najib's newfangled term "spacing the race" has an entirely different (and hillarious) meaning:

For according to Wikipedia on spacing:

Spacing is a theoretical method of execution (or other sort of killing) by vacuum exposure in space. The primary cause of death would be asphyxia. Unlike the persistent myth, people do not explode due to vacuum exposure or explosive decompression (See Landis' article in links)

and...

Spacing is a staple of science fiction, usually accomplished by ejecting the subject through the airlock of a spacecraft or space station without a space suit.

Fortunately, Najib will get away with it... as not too many UMNO delegates are science fiction fans to understand what "spacing" actually means. Once the GA is over, its back to spacing ordinary Malays and Malaysians into the vacuum of ignorance with fanciful promises and race-baiting.

Deepavali Means A Day Off Work For Me...

... and wishes of "Happy Diwali" to my Indian pals who celebrate it. All Indian Hindu colleagues in my workplace have gone back to Perak, Kedah, or Negeri9 for celebrations... so no visiting for me... methinks.

Hm... time to clear out some boxes of stuff from my apartment room... then perhaps tonight I'll hang around with some friends.

I'm in the mood for roti-bakar...

Beware! Cicakman II Is Coming Soon To A Cinema Near You..!

One-third of Georgetown's Birch Street was closed last weekend. The section north of Church & Birch up till the tower was condoned off by a bunch of RELA civil defense guys manning the roadblock. At first, I though it was Tenaga Nasional digging up the power lines again. They do that now and then... so no big deal. Two blocks away, there were a whole bunch of Mat Rempit bumming around... which was strange since they don't hang out in this part of Georgetown.

Later that evening at a friend's birthday party, one of the guests mentioned that her niece was working on a new film project, and that they were filming downtown. They also needed extras for the scenes, so she asked if I or any of my pals were interested. RM50/person was the rate.

The name of the movie? Cicakman II

Yes... you heard it. Cicakman II. The sequel to a local Malaysian superhero-movie that's actually a direct clone of Spiderman, right down to the plot... is being made.

It does not interest me that Cicakman II is being made. What interest's me... is that Cicakman II is actually being made. The KRU Brothers actually thought it'll be a Good Idea to make the sequel.

And true to being a direct clone of Spiderman, which is set in windy & temperate New York City, Cicakman II takes place in the cold season in the Malaysian megacity of Metrofulus. Hm... a Malaysian city with a fall/winter season.

It was a bit amusing to hear about the cast acting out in winter clothing. In downtown Georgetown. In the sweltering and humid Penang weather...

I missed the first movie. I heard from my Malay friends it was terrible, although it raked in a lot of cash in the theaters. Maybe I should checkout the sequel, to see how amusing it can be...



That probably explains all the Mat Rempits around Birch Street that night. Probably hoping to get their 30 seconds of fame as a movie extra.

Congratulations To Our "Astronok"

Last night, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar blasted off into space on a Russian rocketship (sorry, Proton doesn't do aerospace) and became Malaysia's first astronok. God knows what else he'll be doing in the International Space Station aside from his crystal & cell growth experiments. I hope he wasn't pressured to do that experiment with teh-tarik in zero gravity. News about hot tea splashing around the ISS and shorting out onboard electronics isn't a good way to put Malaysia in the news...

Many folks I know have been skeptical about the program and consider it a waste of state funds, especially since we made a U$25 million deal with the Russians for the trip. What's not mentioned is that we don't have to settle the bill. The Russians will actually be paying the costs of this program, since its part of a defense deal we made with them to purchase some new Su-30 fighter planes for our Air Force.

So we get to send a guy to space free of charge, in addition to some nice new toys to scare Singapore and Indonesia with. Nice eh? Wait... how much did they charge per plane?

Yes, perhaps Dr.Muszaphar is only along for the ride and to do a couple of experiments. I still relish the fact that we're now one of the many nations that have put a man in space. But launching a guy into space on somebody else's space program and robot does not automatically make us a developed nation, especially since this does little for the Malaysian aerospace industry considering that:

• all the training were done by the Russians under the Russian space agency
  
• Dr.Muszaphar was sent to space on a Russian built and owned rocketship
• we don't have the means, and serious plans, for stuff like jet propulsion research centers, space ports, rocket assembly facilities, and stuff like that
  

Now, we don't have to build our own Proton Pluto Gen2, but there is a wealth of aerospace science and engineering which we could learn from the Russians on the sideline. We can use these to develop our own homegrown equipment that perhaps can be used on the ISS, and perhaps find some commercial use. I hope our academics and scientists did take the advantage to learn the most out of this opportunity. Although knowing the poor state of research in our local varsities nowadays, I won't be surprised if they let this fly by them.

Anyway, have a nice Raya in space Dr.Muszaphar. Stay safe and come back in one piece.

LEAVE BRITNEE ALOOONE!

Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting to you the most hilarious and pathetic video ever made... a fan's response to Britney's abomination of a performance at MTV's music awards...




Yes, thats a guy.

And why oh why did she had to dress up in tacky underwear to prance about stage? Heck, even a pair of jeans and a t-shirt would've been better...

Happy ID31

Today marks the 50th anniversary of Malaysia's Independence. Although back then it was known as Malaya. As part of this festive ocassion, I've taken 4 days off work to relax back in my hometown.

The drive back from Penang was smooth, with suprisingly less traffic than I expected. The express buses were behaving unusually nice these days as a result of more stringent patrolling and roadblocks by the Transport Department and the traffic police.

A few days of R&R with friends, family, and relatives in the Klang Valley in the next few days... before its back to the electronic salt mines for me. I better get back to making my plans for the next few days too. Enjoy your long Merdeka weekend!


Mahalo,

BrightEyes

WWJD: What Would Jesus Drink?

Certainly not Budweiser, Busch Lite, or Tiger Draft. Those are terrible beers not fit for a king or the King of Kings. And not fit for human consumption either.

I just found our ever effective Malaysian Government just temporarily banninated a Tamil language newspaper. Reason? The newsroom dudes at Makkal Osai printed a picture of Jesus holding a cigarette and beer on front page. It wasn't supposed to be a Danish-cartoons-Mohammad-thing... but more for their "Thought Of The Day" feature which puts in selected quotes and sayings of famous leaders, philosophers, and other wise folks. Today's thought was from Jesus, so some smart guy (probably an intern) Googled for a picture of Jesus and downloaded the first picture he got... thus beating his deadline. Then next, it was off to the printing presses.

Naturally, Christians were not amused with Makkal Osai's picture of Jesus having a puff and a swig. After some complaints, the paper quickly apologized. Apology accepted, by the Catholics, the Christian representative from the Malaysian Consultative Council of Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism and Sikhism (whew, that was long)... and other Christian denominations.

Case closed, eh?

Nope. The government came in and smacked Makkal Osai with a one month suspension. That means for the next 30 days, no reporting, no printing, and no morning paper for your next door Indian neighbour Mr. Doraisamy. Less work for the paperboy...

They've said sorry and that should be it. Forgiven, but not forgotten (well, until this issue blows away). Anyway, its not like they had Jesus shooting heroin while banging a hooker with the words "LOL, yr Xtian god sux!" as a caption.

Ironically, the quote below the smokin' drinkin' Jesus was "If someone repents for his mistakes, then heaven awaits them".

Geez, people just tend to overreact to silly little pictures/cartoons in newspapers. Its ok to protest the paper's blunder, alright. Now that they've apologized for their mistake, there's no need to press it further. Don't we have other stuff to take care of? Like government corruption for instance?


Another blogger's take on this mountain on a molehill
And another blogger's opinion, with some dissenting comments...

Q: What's the most common answer to questions in Malaysia?

A: Tak tau.

Yep, thats it. 95% of the time when you ask someone, you'll get a "tak tau" (I don't know) in reply. However, since Malaysia is a diverse country, sometimes you'll get a different answer than the standard "tak tau". These range from "donno" to "wa em chai", and... errr... hm... does anyone know what 'I don't know' is in Tamil, Punjabi, and Dyak? Anyway, its a little better than the generic "tak tau", no?

Or perhaps not...


That's the answer I got from the staff at a bookstore, where I went to get meself a sticker of a Malaysian flag for my car window. As you know, this 31st would be Malaysia's 50th year of independence (its debatable with the other States of Sabah & Sarawak). I didn't want those cloth flags with that plastic mast you stick on the outside of your car. Those eventually break off at freeway speeds... thanks to the cheap plastic and weathering of the sun and rain. Any unlucky motorcyclist or pedestrian will then get a Jalur Gemilang smack in his face at 100kph.

The flag stickers on the other hand are supposed to be placed on your back winscreen, very much like your Road Tax sticker. Those last much longer, and the color doesn't turn from Red, White, Yellow, & Blue into Diesel Exhaust Grey.


The bookstore didn't have any on sale, so I asked if they knew any other place that did.

"Tak tau", came the reply.

Now, this bookstore was in the same building complex as 'Giant', which is a massive megastore like Wal-Mart, Makro, or Tesco. Just like Wal-Mart, 'Giant' sells almost anything, although unlike Wal-Mart they don't seem to have firearms and ammunition in stock. Surely they could've asked me to check out Giant to see if they have what I wanted...

But all I got was a "tak tau". Ah well...


Anyway, Giant didn't have those stickers, although I saw tons of those small car-flags for sale at RM3.50. I guess I have to improvise then...

A small cloth flag 5X7 inches, a penknife, and a roll of cellotape. Pasted to the back of my rear windscreen... and... problem solved.

But did I desecrate the flag by using my penknife to remove it from the mast?

I tak tau.

In Less Than 2 weeks, Its Happy 50th B'Day Malaysia

Work commitments and big projects mean I haven't been updating this site with essays, reviews, and other stuff as often as I should. Engineering pays the bills, and I'm not gonna be placing adverts all over this site for additional income.

This 31Aug weekend I'll be back in Klang and KL for a little celebration & hangout with some pals. And yea, a visit to the family, which the last was back in early June. It will be our 50th year of Independence for our country, but not for the Federation of Malaysia. Perhaps I should write an essay about where we are as a nation, but i'm gonna leave that to other socio-political bloggers like Walski, Jeff, and KTemoc...

In 2 days time, one of my favourite musical groups will be releasing their 4th album (click on the string to turn on the bulb!). I've heard the preview and its VERY different than their previous albums. Well, every Rilo Kiley album is always different than the previous anyways. I'm not sure if it'll be good, or it'll suck this time, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know for sure that Perry, my old Wisconsin pal will dislike it, as he did with the third one...

Hopefully Borders or Disc N' Dat will have a copy in stock.

And the car will need a major service soon...

What is it about some owners of Celicas' and Skylines'?

They have a nice car and ruin it with a rear spoiler that looks like its made from construction scaffolding and a picnic bench?

Free Speech Is Now Under Attack In Malaysia!

Wait a minute, what the fuck am I saying? Free speech has always been under attack in Malaysia. Its always been attacked by those wishing to hold onto power. Its always been attached by those who can't stand others talking about whats on their mind. Its always been attacked by those who claim they champion for free speech... but... when *BANG*... someone says something else they don't like, its threats and Sedition Acts for him.

In the past weeks, we had two internets (sic) personalities who went for lengthy interviews with the police; Nathaniel Tan, and Raja P. Kamaruddin. Unfortunately, it wasn't for the position of the topdog Inspector General of Police post which I'm sure they would do better at, despite their lack of experience inside the police force, but their tons of experience with the police would make up for it.

New IGP R.P. Kamaruddin contemplates re-investigating the "Strange Case of Muhammad son of Muhammad And His Sack of Cash", on the Malaysian side(at least my photoedit skills are on par with Tian Chua's)

Raja Petra spent 8 hours being questioned, while Nathaniel got several days detention in a police lockup. All over their websites. Did they make a call for an asassination of some bigwig? Did they threaten to have someone killed? I think we all know the answer.

The government and its minions knows it cannot seriously control the internet, especially when you have hundreds of angry bloggers banging away on their keyboards to update their US-based websites. So it arrests or sues a few of them from time to time, hoping that would scare the rest to shut the fuck up.

Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for we plebians and rakyat-marhein, that only had the opposite result of enraging the rest. Raja Petra's website, Malaysia Today-dot-net was off the web occasionally today and the last few days. But it wasn't because it was shutdown by the guvment, as some folks have worried about. Ironicly, this crackdown had caused many many many folks with Internets (sic) connection to pay R.P.'s website a little visit. Ditto for Mr. Nathaniel too. Many many many folks... to the point that sometimes, the server couldn't cope with the traffic.

Some weren't even regular readers of M-Today, but thanks to Mat Taib's report against R.P., that all changed. So Raja Petra, I guess you have someone to thank for increasing the hit counter on your site. No need to see him in hell...


Meanwhile, this August or whenever, I know who to vote for this coming election...

Now YOU Too Can Be Related To Abdul Razak Baginda

On trial for masterminding the murder of a Mongolian woman, political analyst Abdul Razak Baginda's is in a "bit" of legal trouble. He's founder & Exec. Director of the Malaysian Strategic Research Centre, a defense think-thank.

Razak Baginda also (used) to write a column in the Star newspaper on global politics, like what most political anaylists normally do when not tending to their think-thanks' or shopping for submarines. His family turned out in full support of their father, complete with custom-made tshirts:

...back of shirt says "And Proud Of It"

Hey, maybe I could be associated in some way. Ever heard about the six-degrees of separation? So I did some research into my friends', colleagues', and relatives'... and now... I too can show-off my association!

...back of shirt also says "And Proud Of It"

If you're associated or related in some way, then perhaps you could flaunt it with your own homemade shirt. Maybe you could also score an interview with some local tabloid.

OMG! Internet Drama

Listening to: Nothing


======================

Hola amigos, its been a long time since I rapped at ya. I just didn't feel like writing in the past few weeks, so that's my excuse for you.

Local blogger Sheih has thrown in his resignation as a member of the All-Blogs committee. The split was caused no thanks to a troll known as "monsterball" who'd been going around spamming blogs. This "monsterball" guy doesn't have his own blog, just a userID which he uses to merrily post bullshit on other peoples sites.

Trolls live on attention. Studies prove they share a genetic similarity with that other internets creature known as 'Attention Whore'. But rather than ignoring him and letting it die a natural death, other bloggers have escalated the conflict, to the point that his personal details were published for everybody to see. Many "ugly" arguements later follow, and Sheih decides to quit.

Imagine that! Discord in All-Blogs just because of a common Internet Troll! But this isn't the first time... former All-Blogs bigwig Susan Loone split and quit after some disagreement.

I guess Information Minister Zam doesn't have to worry too much about bloggers (especially All-Blogs or other local blogging orgs) as a political threat. Did I also hear laughter from Jalan Riong?

Barely a couple months and theres already a split in All-Blogs. And there's a new rival group in town known as PABS (People’s All Blogs Society?), captained by none other than Susan Loone and kTemoc. Will Sheih join PABS or form yet another bloggers group?

The conflict in a nutshell...

D.I.Y. Beehive Removal

Listening to: Camera Obscura - Lets Get Out Of This Country



=====================

Yes, its been a busy couple of weeks for me. And yeah, I had to work today. Why do you ask?


What happens one day when you step out and notice a large swarm of bees had made a nice little nest in your garden? What do you do? Call the fire brigade? Well, you could do that...

Or you could do it like these bunch of nuts from SomethingAwful.com, they decided to take matters into their own hands, and...



You know when you have a plan that involves various flammable liquids, its either going to be a tragedy or a lotta laughs...

Marginalize Me, Lah!

Listening to: Nothing


========================

So I was browsing Malaysiakini today and read a letter by Baki Minuddin. It was a reply to Richard Teo's opinion on the debate on whether the Singaporean Malays were oppressed. Or not.

Now I'm not Malay, or even a Malay in Kiasuland, so I won't make any judgements that the Singaporean Malays are marginalized or otherwise. But what's interesting was Baki's comment on the Malaysian Chinese...

Richard Teo’s No exodus of Malays from S’pore in reply to my S’pore Malays worse of than Chinese here will not convince objective-thinking Chinese who know that from the day their forefathers arrived with the British, their life has been nothing but good except for a little pain during the Japanese occupation.

I suppose the massacre of tens of thousands of Chinese is just a "little pain" for them, no? And way to go! Lets propagate the myth that all Malaysian Chinese have it easy. Ignore the fact that there exists many poor and working-class Chinese who have to struggle daily to feed, clothe, and educate their kids.

At least he didn't claim also that the Indians have it good here... That would be waaaay much harder to back up...


Even more hillarious, he places blame on the Chinese for the social ills of the Malays. Just like how some white supremacists blame 'The Jews' for corrupting impressionable white youth with drugs, alcohol abuse, porn, and rock music...

Thus the Chinese were allowed to go into the ‘kampungs’ to set up their grocery stores, to corrupt the Malays with their ‘555’ debt books, ‘nombor ekor’ and alcohol. The British also made the Malays feel ‘very proud’ to be working as clerks, soldiers, policemen, etc.

And yes, to Mr. Baki Minuddin, the Indonesian Chinese are "persecuted", not persecuted. Even after the discrimination they faced during the Soekarno and Suharto era, and the Jakarta Riots of May 1998.


I recall reading some of Baki's letters in the Utusan before. But I don't recall what they're about, only thing that they weren't really nice. So, I got a little curious and went aboard a time machine called Google...

He's quite an active writer. God bless the Internets:

• Apparently he's forced to accept these races of a different culture and faith...
• A differing view on Independence
• The bangsa asing is taking our women! Do sumthing!
• Another letter about Yasmin Ahmad's Gubra
• Some rapists should just be fined, and some rapes should just be considered "common assault"
• Regarding the Interfaith Commission (IFC) and nonMuslim faiths...
  

Methinks he don't like nonMalays and nonMuslims much...

Fixing An iPod Shuffle's Dented Clip...

Listening to: You're The Man Now Dog!


=====================

The second-generation iPod Shuffle has a clip at its back that lets you hook it onto your shirt/jeans pocket. The Shuffle keeps up to 1Gb of music in a package around the size of… umm.. a postage stamp?

tape Walkman is hungry...!!

A nice compact library of 250 songs in an aluminum case. And aluminum is a soft metal. Which became a problem one day when I sat down in my car, with the Shuffle clipped to the back pocket of my pants. The clip was slightly dented but I only did realize this later when I wanted to connect the iPod to the USB-dock/recharger. I could only fit the device into the groove after a little force was applied…

The bent clip prevents you from easily fitting
the iPod Shuffle into the USB-dock above...

pic courtesy of TychoUnder

And apparently, I’m not the only guy with this problem.

What’s equally bad is clip couldn’t hold firmly to your clothes anymore. So imagine yourself one day… iPod Shuffle with a bent clip on your jeans pocket. And thanks to the bent clip, the iPod comes off your pocket and freely falls towards the hard concrete floor below. Did I mention earlier aluminum is a soft metal…?

I tried bending back the clip with my bare hands, but it was difficult for such large hands to manipulate a tiny object. And the thing with aluminum is, it bends when you don’t want it to, and doesn’t bend when you need it to.

Fortunately, this guy Pete had devised a method to fix his own Shuffle. Following his instructions below…

You’ll need:

1. One butter knife. For Christsakes, use a blunt one!
2. Your iPod
3. A soft piece of wood. My desk makes a good one.

Now place the knife as in the photo below, so the clip is between the wooden surface and the knife.

Apply force (reasonably!) with your hands on both sides of the knife's blade... until the clip is flattened out. You won’t get it totally straight, but enough so you can connect it to the USB-dock and use the clip on your jacket pocket again…

Meanwhile, I need to write a letter to Steve Jobs about this…

And I hope you’re using a BLUNT knife…?

iPods For iJok

Listening to: Nothing


========================


Just yesterday, I talked to a friend who had gone down there to cover the recent by-election...

from redkid.net + edits

Trenches were being excavated for new power cables, new lamp posts were being erected, and the whole place smelt like an asphalt bunker. Like what I expected...

A Statistical Analysis Of A Malaysian Electorial District

Listening to: Heikki - Former Hero (buy here)








=====================

The news is in... its a Barisan Nasional victory in the electoral constituancy of Ijok. Or iJok, for you Appleheads out there. K. Parthiban won by a majority of 1,800 votes over Parti Keadilan Rakyat's contender Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim. Thats a whole lot of fucking votes. I'll leave the bickering over whether or whether not electoral fraud had occured to the other bloggers and Mr. Raja Petra.


If one were to perform a study on the quality of public services & works, life, road conditions, and socioeconomic factors throughout time in any electorial constituancy in Malaysia, you might get the results below:

where C is the level just after the General Election.

A large spike can be seen just after the time whenever an elected representitive for the region has kicked the bucket. This sudden increase stops the moment the by-election is over and a new representative to replace the deceased guy has been elected. The quality of life in that area then gradually decays as time passes and election promises are unkept. This trend continues until the next Election.

So if you happen to live in that area and want to maintain a certain level of development in your area, technically you'll want as many by-elections as possible. And you'll also want them as close to one another as possible.

But thats also gonna mean a high death rate of elected politicians/representatives in your area.

Here's the solution to achieve this. No violence, just good ol' food, liquor, and tobacco.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Listening to: The Concretes - In Colour

============================

As we Malaysians have heard, five-year old Muhammad “Yin” Nazrin who disappeared after wandering away in a Kuala Lumpur shopping complex, has been reunited with his family. Old news, as this happened weeks ago. While his parents were busy shopping, that little brat ran off and got lost in the huge crowd of shoppers that normally plague KL.

A Burmese couple found the kid and being unable to find his parents (duh!) among the streets of KL, took him back to their home in Sentul. It didn’t help that there’s a language barrier between them and a 5-year old kid who has the vocab of… well… er… a 5-year old with ADHD.

Now, unlike many Malaysians who have the convenience of media access or… can actually read, Mr. and Mrs. Abdul Rahman were illiterate and impoverished Burmese Rohingya refugees. Having fled the Burmese military regime, they fled to Malaysia and settled down in Sentul, the Harlem of Kuala Lumpur. No gunshots, just the slashing sounds of parangs and machetes.

Living in poverty with their five own children, their shack had no television, no radio, and of course… no Nintendo where Yin can hammer away on Mario Kart. So Mr. & Mrs. Abdul Rahman were totally unaware, or so they claimed… that the whole nation is out looking for that kid. Yin lived with the family in that slum for over a week. Oh yea, his head was also shaved bald.

The Burma-Shave treatment, I guess.

Only a week later, the couple saw a 'Missing' poster for Yin, one of many that had been plastered around the city. Realizing this, according to their story, they called the authorities.

Alls well, ends well... Yin was reunited with his family. And Mr. and Mrs. Abdul Rahman would get the thousands of ringgit in reward money for their deed, a hefty sum that'll greatly ease the burden of poverty and squalor they have to deal with daily. Unfortunately, that's only for Yin's family. For the Burmese couple, they would see none of the reward money that had been promised. Even worse, they were arrested by the cops on suspicion that they kidnapped the child. Their children were sent for DNA testing to see if they were actually theirs or collected from the street... like Yin. As for the slum community in Sentul where they lived, well... its gonna be demolished.

And the media went into another full feeding frenzy, this time speculating that the Burmese couple were part of a kidnapping ring that abducted children to be used as beggars. Amongst the many tabloids & newspapers ranting and raving about kidnapping gangs and those dodgy dark-skinned foreigners out to eat your young, local daily Utusan Melayu whipped up an editorial about begging syndicates that used children and somehow, that was related to Yin's case.

Eventually, the couple were freed after the cops were satisfied that no crime was committed. For their good deed in returning a missing child, Mr. and Mrs. Abdul Rahman had spent a few days in jail and were torn to shreds by a moral panic stirred up by the press. Little apology (if any at all), was offered for the trial-by-media they had to face.

I wonder if Michael Chong will now give them their two thousand ringgit?

The Burmese couple have been reunited with their children, but now they and their fellow Rohingya villagers might face homelessness by future demolition of their settlement.

Some reward for a good deed...


And in future, we should all remember the mantra...

Its Nearly Tax Day, Do You Know Where Your Form BE Is?

Listening to: The keypad on my calculator as I add up my tax rebates...


=======================

So here I am, taking time off to calculate my income taxes before April 30th. The table in the darkened dining room is cluttered with receipts, files, a calculator, and that tax form. The lamp overhead gives a harsh yellow, but warm and welcoming light. I was never a fluorescent person.

I should get a Jack Daniels & an unfiltered Lucky to add in the mood. And a fedora too...

"We Need New Roads"

Listening to: Nothing yet...


==========================

A State Assemblyman in some electoral district in Malaysia had all of a sudden been receiving gifts from his constituents. Now these goodies weren't coming from his business buddies or rich Datuks, but from ordinary working class to middle class citizens like you and me. They would present cartons of unfiltered Camel ciggarettes, cigars, durian fruits, beer, XO Brandy, Martell, chocolates, and even packets of tasty 'nasi lemak' to the Yang Berhormat when they got the chance to meet him.

Heck, even Ah Seng who runs the 'bak-kut-teh' shop down the road had pledged meals on the house to the politician. Free meals of succulent pork in tasty herbal soup, plus all that cholestrol...

Puzzled, the state assemblyman wondered why all of a sudden the common folk were so good to him. He thought of any deed he just did that would have earned such gratefulness from the 'rakyat'. But, he couldn't recall anything he had done for that place after 2004.

Then came Muthu, with a 12-pack of Guinness Stout... all for the YB. The politician questioned him on his kindness. Muthu replied:

"Sir, I know you're surprised that we're so good to you recently. Especially since crime is high, the whole town council is corrupt, the drains flood because your business partners dump their construction waste everywhere, the roads need repair, the rubbish collection service and everything else has gone bad to worse, and nothing has been done despite all the letters we've written to you. So... um... so...

We figured we need a by-election".

A Useful Invention

Listening to: Nothing yet...


========================

Scientists should develop a lie-detector that can be strapped to a person's face. Whenever the person lies when he or she speaks, the device will extend a rubber prosthetic nose. We could compel all the politicians in the world to wear it, especially in Parliament/Congress. That way everyone can tell if someone is lying or not.

I'll call it the VBS3000. Visual Bullshit Detector. The VBS3000-P ('P' for politician) will be an improved version with three times more extension length.

Weekend Gig Report: HSDD, Telebury, Love Me Butch, Bittersweet

Listening to: Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat



=======================

4th floor, 60 Weld Quay is where we meetup every two weeks for movies. It also happens to be the offices for an NGO or two that deals with social issues in Penang.

One floor below is the apartment/studio/crash-pad of Cheong from Huse Di-Dai (HSDD). Plans are in the works to upgrade the DIY-recording studio with acoustic padding and better equipment, or so I've been told.


Last Sunday, several well-known local bands played at the gig there. Although it was planned to start at 2, the show only took off at around five o'clock... as the folks from Bittersweet were STILL on their way from KayheL. And lets not forget the one hour delay for soundcheck... conventional indie wisdom in Malaysia dictates that the show will actually start half to one hour later than stated...

Opening for the show was Cheong's screamo band HSDD. Then came Telebury...



Love Me Butch was next...



and finally post-punk band Bittersweet... who's gigs have been recently advertized in Junk mag.



And everyone had a great time... despite the delay...

Love Me Butch and their pals...

...and some of the folks from Bittersweet with their posse.

Note to self: Cellphone cam blows balls. Remember to bring camera next time.

I'm Gonna Lie Down By The Poolside...

Listening to: Black Tambourine - Complete Recordings (mp3 available)




=====================

Gig this afternoon's been pushed to Sunday, so I'm gonna chill today by the apartment pool with a cold Tiger and a book I should have finished reading months ago.

Evening's the worst time to do that... too many crazy kids splashing about. So I better go now...

Whoa, Deja Vu!

Listening to: Nothing


=======================

So I was at X Inc.'s cafeteria this evening. My workpals were supposed to meet me for teatime but they went somewhere else. Ah well... all the egg tarts for me then.

Looking out through the glass wall/window, there was a black cat passing by. We have a number of strays living around X Inc.'s compound, but I've never seen this cat before.


Then came another black cat just like it.

I looked around expecting Agent Smith to burst through the doors... and thennnn... nope, just one of the techs from Failure Analysis on teabreak.


And then, comes yet another black cat... following the other two...

(image from Bob Paz's sign shop)

Three black cats in a row, all the same size. Either a glitch in the matrix or siblings from the same litter.

You decide...

News For Today

Breaking News: 81% of Malaysians Cannot Name Current Prime Minister, According to Tun Mahathir

KUALA LUMPUR: In a press conference held today at The Renaissance in downtown Kuala Lumpur, former Malaysian Prime Minister Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammad revealed new facts he described as “shocking and disturbing”.

“I’ve had my men question a sample of over 3,000 Malaysians on the street to evaluate the rakyats’ understanding of current events”, mentioned Tun Dr. Mahathir.

One of the questions in the survey was about who the present prime minister of Malaysia is. According to him, most answers to that particular question were “blatantly incorrect”.

“Can you believe that around 67% mentioned some person called Badawi?” he said. “I don’t know who this man is but he can’t be doing any good. Who does he think he is, influencing two-thirds of the population to think he’s PM?”

He also added that 8% of the respondents believed that Tun Daim Zainuddin was currently the Prime Minister, with the other six percent giving various answers such as Tun Abdul Razak, Elvis, Sudirman, Lim Kit Siang, and “a coconut” (sic).

On an optimistic note, he added that the remaining 19% of respondents gave “Dato’ Seri Dr. Mahathir Mohammad” as the answer.

“Although it should be ‘Tun’, we should at least give them some credit for that”.

“But that should not cloud the fact that four-fifths of the rakyat are wrong!”

The idea among the majority that Abdullah Ahmad Badawi is the incumbent Malaysian Prime Minister had apparently caused Mahathir some inconvenience. In February, his motorcade was stopped from entering the gates of the Prime Minister’s official residence.

“I told the guard that I live here. Can you believe he actually had the audacity to say that I’m no longer the PM?! I ordered his supervisor to discipline him and all he said was ‘Tun, Badawi kini PM’”

Dr. Mahathir is planning a meeting with Badawi to “clear the air” regarding this issue.

Lim Keng Yaik To Step Down, This Time For Sure

PUTRAJAYA: Current Gerakan party president Datuk Seri Dr Lim Keng Yaik has once again confirmed that he will retire from his post after serving at that position since 1980. He mentioned that his decision was totally final and he really really meant it”.

“Time again, again, again and again in the past couple of years, I have said that I will step down. Now this time you will see it. Confirmed, I swear”.

Speaking to reporters at Putrajaya, Keng Yaik reiterated his decision to retire. Although potentially no longer Gerakan’s president, he will still retain his appointment as Energy, Water and Communications Minister.

“Perhaps I had a couple of false starts when I said I would be stepping down years back. Not this time. My detractors say I’m taking my time but Gerakan wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready too. Now this time I will step down and I will mean it this time when I say I will step down”.

Chief Minister of Penang, Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon is expected to succeed Keng Yaik as president of the Gerakan Party, whenever that may be.

Jesus Claims Responsibility For Disrupting Blogger’s Internet

PEARLY GATES: At a press conference held at the entrance to heaven today, Jesus Christ claimed to reporters present that he was the individual responsible for the temporary glitch in blogger Mohd. Niesham Juferi’s internet service, which left him without a connection to the world for a couple of weeks.

“It was simple, man. I jus went to the server, and severed… heh heh… pun intended… his internet by unplugging the network cable. That’s it!”

Jesus added that He and his followers then set back and observed as Mohd. Juferi, also known as Menj on Malaysia's online community, attempted to restore his connection by purchasing new hardware, cables, and finally, attempting to contact his subscriber's customer service.

Jesus at a press conference with reporters showing the
network cable he easily disconnected

“Of course, then after some weeks I took pity on him, walked to the server room, and put the plug back in. Even TMNet couldn't figure out the problem all this while! Anyway, their service reps are always playing Solitare when answering customers, so whaddaya expect?”.

Despite the critical articles about him and his followers usually posted on the webblog, Jesus praised the website for bringing humor and occasionally, “followers to Christ”.

The irony, he added, was the website was saturated with commercials, including advertisements for Christianity right next to an article condemning Christians.

“Man, I had a couple o’ atheists go there to ahem… ‘seek the truth about the deception of Christianity’ or some junk like that. They clicked on the GoogleAd ‘Christ Is Your Savior’ there, and next thing you know, they’re gonna be baptized next Sunday! Praise be to me!”

When contacted, Mohd. Juferi expressed anger at the claims made by Jesus and swore to further persist in efforts to criticize Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, and the faith of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He added that the broken internet connection had also affected his source of income.

“I knew it was him all along! Oh, how could a naked guy swinging RefinanceYourHomeLoan from a cross defeat me like that?! Nonetheless, I will continue to GetAGreenCardNOW expose nonIslamic religions, especially Christianity for the fraud they are! I will have my revenge! Buy eggs online!” speaking to reporters at his Penang Island residence.

"Do you know through DiTech.com you can get mortgages at favourable terms?"

Mr. Juferi then went on an explanation about the advantages of purchasing flowers through the internet, in response to a reporter's question about his plan to prevent future disruptions to his internet service.

Kevin Federline's Album Reappraised By Critics

NEW YORK: In a reevaluation expected to rock the music world, many music critics worldwide have reversed their negative reviews towards Kevin Federline's debut album, "Playing With Fire". The singer and former spouse of Britney Spears has been plagued by overwhelming criticism tossed towards his musical career, with album sales flopping, premature dumping of excess CDs into discount bins, and low turnout at his concerts. But this recent development might change his fortunes for the better.

Most critics were unable to clearly explain the reason their turnaround. But many came to the consensus that Federline's album, although may sound banal on the first listening, can become appreciative if taken from a serious intellectual and musical viewpoint.

"I have changed my view on this", mentions famed critic Robert Christgau. "Clearly Mr. Federline displays his emcee prowess and one can emphatize with his storytelling about growing up on the streets of Fresno, California."

"Four stars out of five", he added.

Kevin Federline raps to a sold-out crowd
at Old Trafford Stadium in England

Included were also famed music magazine, Rolling Stone, who bumped Federline's album to Number 5 on their "Top 50 Albums Of 2006" list. Former No.5 position, Ghostface Killah's album "Fishscale", was knocked out of the list as a result. Pitchfork Media has also commended the album, giving it a rare 10.0 rating and praising the album's standout song "Popozao" for its "intrinsic ability to tear and indoubitably move the soul".