Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Major Change For Malaysia Coming This Thursday?


Friends, I may be just a 25-year old engineer living on a rock called Penang, but I come from an illustrious Chinese Malaysian family that has played many a part in the history of Malaya and Malaysia. Many of my relatives have connections within the business and ruling elite, and from this intricate network, have received many a business deal. And Datoships and Tan Sri-ships too.

And for such a prestigious family where success is paramount, I happen to be the outcast. While my cousins became lawyers, doctors, and businessmen, I did engineering in college. While my cousins drive BMWs, Mercs, and one of them… a Ferrari (bought by his dad, of course)… I sometimes take the bus. While my relatives think Marks & Spencer is the minimum, I shop at the Salvation Army at Perak Rd. So, you can see why they look down on me.

Anyway, back to the topic…

One of my uncles himself is pretty close to Patrick Lim (one of the Prime Minister's closest business partners) and Badawi himself, and on Sunday afternoon, he made a stunning revelation to me during teatime at the E&O Hotel. Until the announcement on Thursday evening, you won’t hear about this on the news, not even on Malaysia Today or Malaysiakini. Heck, even Raja Petra knows zilch about it!

Only less than 10 people in this world knows what will happen this Thursday. Nine of them are in Malaysia, and the other fella is probably in Washington D.C. by now. Actually make that 12 persons; including me and my other cousin. I don’t know if the waiter overheard… if he did, that will be thirteen…

Usually, my Tan Sri’ uncle tends to be rather vague with us about his dealings within the corridors of power. But on that afternoon at the E&O, he had a little too many Johnnie Walkers. And alcohol lets out the truth…

You won’t believe this, but you better… especially if you stay/work in Putrajaya or Kuala Lumpur. Better you hear it on this Tuesday than Thursday.

Brace yourselves…







Badawi is going to move both the capital city & administrative center from Kuala Lumpur & Putrajaya... to Johor.


Yes, boys and girls. Our new capital will be in Johor. My uncle says it’ll be around Batu Pahat.


Now you would ask, “Why Batu Pahat?! Their fucking website doesn’t even work right now!” According to him, Johor Baharu looked like a more suitable choice, as it was more developed. However, its also within easy striking distance of Singapore, and therefore it was ruled out. You can’t really manage Malaysia when Kiasuland artillery rains down high-explosive shells on your newly-built 2.1-billion ringgit Parliament house.

Batu Pahat is in the middle, away from Singapore and the Negeri Sembilan-Selangor frontier. Malacca and Negeri Sembilan will act as buffer states.

The reason for moving house is obvious… Barisan Nasional did win the General Elections, but it was a pyrrhic victory. They lost five states, including Selangor and also got their ass kicked in the capital city, Kuala Lumpur. Moreover, Putrajaya is now besieged like the Nazis in Stalingrad. Badawi has to plan a strategic withdrawal where he can regroup what’s left of BN.

Of course, a new capital will mean new megaprojects coming up. Firstly, there’s a new Parliament house to be built… I think you know how much its gonna cost. That’s gonna be Patrick Lim’s job (and my uncle too!), no questions or tenders asked.

Included are new buildings, infrastructure, and facilities for all the government departments and ministries, these will be within a new administrative & economic corridor that includes Muar, Pagoh, and Simpang Renggam. That goes to Pat & my uncle, and a couple other Chinese tycoon bigshots and UMNOputra cronies. Khairy might get a little of a cut, but he’ll be mostly responsible for the new F1/motorcycle circuit that will replace Sepang.

As for Najib, he’s gonna be in charge of constructing Barisan Nasional’s 40-billion network of strongpoints and fortifications in Negeri Sembilan (facing north), Johor Baharu (facing south), and Pahang (facing north and west). As for Terengganu, they won’t bother, since by 2012 the oil will be finished, reverting the state back into a sleepy fishing village. Why all this money for defense when the Opposition parties doesn’t even own battle tanks? Don’t ask.

That’s all that I heard from my ol’ uncle. But expect this on Thursday, and a whole lot of development coming your way if you’re from Johor State.


I wonder if Najib will also build a defensive artillery battery on Mount Ledang?

5 comments:

Afif said...

Interesting scoop I must say. But it'll only be just a figment of your imagination once Anwar or Ku Li became Prime Minister soon.

iM D eNigMa said...

Interesting insight. Don't you think you might be bordering the lines of revealing "sensitive" info with this post? Just my opinion that's all.
That aside, will be looking out for anything that drastic this Thursday! Till then... adios amigo! :)

LC_Teh said...

hahahaha....whoever you are, any other day you can tell this story, maybe I'll believe you. But not today...

Anonymous said...

Is it a joke 4 APRIL FOOL DAYS !

cynthia said...

hey..i read yr blog, and im going to langkawi soon too..and im staying in rasa estotika..its not bad rite? as in is it clean? tats all that matters to me..is it? and is it hard to find? from langkawi airport..? pls reply..thank u!