How To Stop Anwar Ibrahim From Becoming PM

From: pk_hee@promahathir-thinkthank.com

To: kronee@promahathir-thinkthank.com, staffgroup@promahathir-thinkthank.com

CC: tun_m@yahoo.com, muhkriz@gmail.com, groups@mykmu.net


RE: Stopping Anwar Ibrahim

YB Dato' Kronee,

I have a suggestion regarding our future strategy to prevent the ascention of Anwar Ibrahim to the post of Malaysian Prime Malaysia. Many years ago, we thought such a thing was impossible ever since our Beloved Tun Mahathir kicked him into prison.

But with the results of the recent General Election, no thanks to Badawi... the threat of this happening is very real. If the Sabahans & Sarawakians decides to switch, we will see the end of Barisan Nasional, and you, me, and Mahathir will have to spend the night in Mugabe's house. That assumes, of course, that Bob does a good job this time of rigging the upcoming runoff elections.

The Background

Badawi will be replaced end of this year. Najib or Razaleigh will take over. Either way, this time the new guy will be remotely controlled by our Beloved Tun Mahathir. The real power behind the PM will lie with Tun Mahathir. Dato Kronee... you can then be safe knowing your crooked bridge project will be resumed. But Anwar and the People's Front/Pakatan Rakyat will be working to spoil the party and they must be stopped at all costs. While we work to remove Badawi, we must also not forget about the Anwar threat on the other front...

We managed to dispose of Anwar the first time through the use of the M.A.H.A.T.H.I.R. Strategy, designed by our Beloved Tun Mahathir himself. If you recall, the M.A.H.A.T.H.I.R. Strategy stood for:

Make
Anwar
Homosexual
And
Then
Highlight
It
Repeatedly

This brilliant plan worked, although most of the public were skeptical, and the bumbling Prosecution placed the date of offence before the Tivoli Villa Condominiums were completed. Fortunately, we had an understanding ally in the media... and most importantly... the judges. Just ask VK Lingam.

But now, Anwar is back again to haunt us. The man we thought we killed politically is about to rise again like a fiery phoenix. And its flames will surely roast us.

Using the M.A.H.A.T.H.I.R. Strategy again like you suggested in yesterday's meeting will not work. Firstly, Beloved Tun Mahathir is no longer Prime Minister and the puppet strings to Badawi seems to have been cut. Secondly, the mainstream media is no longer under our control. Thirdly, there's this thing called the Internet which is full of bloggers, alternative media like Malaysiakini, YouTubes, and music downloads. Fourthly, because of the Third reason, Malaysians in general seem to have taken the red pill and our efforts to create a presence on the Internet has been met with mostly skepticism.

A New Paradigm Shift In Character Assassination

To counter Anwar, we will need a new paradigm shift in doing things. Many Malaysians hate the West, and many more hate Jews and Zionists despite never having met a Jew. This is thanks to the efforts of Beloved Tun Mahathir while he was Prime Minister.

The answer to our problem is to increase efforts to insinuate that Anwar is a tool of the Neo-Conservative Anglo American Zionist Jewish Capitalist Decemberist Pastafarianist West, and that he and his allies in KeADILan, PAS, and DAP are doing this by working for a more democratic Malaysia. Democracy is nothing but mob rule and a tool of the Zionists, Jews, and the West. The best leadership is leadership by one man in line with Asian Values, as advocated and practiced by our Beloved Tun Mahathir.

Such claims have already been made by Muhkriz and some bloggers, but the amount at this moment is too little. These accusations can be reeinforced with multiple coincidental non-sequitur articles which we will fabricate, with the help of pro-Mahathir political & academic allies both local & foreign.

When I said foreign, I meant not just activists and intellectuals who are against the West's genuine abuses around the globe, but those who also have an axe to grind against the West. These fellas will be willing to throw their support behind ANY leader who damns the West, regardless of his background.

Mahathir already has networked with such folks through various forums and conferences. In fact, he’s networking right now. I'm sure he has their namecards in his folder and his in theirs. They know him as a champion of the Third World (Islamic Third Worlders only), even while he was oppressing Third Worlders in Malaysia; from the natives of Sarawak, to his critics whom were justly disposed of with the ISA.

But that doesn't matter, as long as Mahathir was a critic against the West, that’s fine and they're willing to view him favorably. I'm sure they would agree be used by us (for a fee) to demonize Anwar as an agent of the Neo-Conservative Anglo American Zionist Discordianist Dodecahedrist Westerners.

How We Will Fight

It is important that we use the foreign individuals above. This is to create some form of authenticity to our accusation that Anwar is a tool of the Neo-Conservative Anglo American Situationalist Zionist Jewish Capitalist Communists. Malaysians are more likely to believe something if a foreign (read: Caucasian) “expert” has supported it. Because of this, we should make sure that this new army of Anwar Demonizers should have several white Mat Sallehs in it…

Right now, I can think of a few activists that we could enlist. Dr. Michel Chossudovsky comes to mind. I’m sure he would know us and would be eager to join, as he was a speaker at the Perdana Peace Conference. I still remember us helping to organize that conference, and how some people felt it was just a shiok-sendiri/glorification event for Dr.M. Also interesting was how we condemned the West and Israel but did not touch on Sudan, East Timor, Myanmar, or Tibet.

Back to the topic… people like Dr. Chossudovsky has excellent writing skills and should be able to create the antiAnwar articles which we need. On the other hand, we should keep away from Chomsky. I think he will be able to see Mahathir for what he really is, and he’s not too easily hoodwinked.

But imagine the headlines popping out on websites like rense.com, GlobalResearch, and Counterpunch… written of course, with the help of our staff at the pro Mahathir think-tanks & organizations…

“Colonizing Malaysia. Or Why Democracy, Transparency, Racial Equality And Freedom Is Bad For Malaysia”

“Why Mahathir Or A Mahathir Proxy Will Be The Best Leader For Malaysia”

“The Zionist Anglo-American Plan To Control Malaysia by One Man: Anwar Ibrahim”

“Does Anwar Ibrahim Eat Babies & Kittens?”

“Why Are We Supporting A Racial Supremacist Like Mahathir? Is It Because He’s Anti-Western? Duh?!”

Also, include photographs of Anwar being friendly to foreign interests to give our propaganda more substance, such as below:

Whoops, wrong picture. Anyway, here’s the correct one.

Time is running short, this email is running too long, and we should consider what I wrote above if we are to intercept Anwar’s plans. If all is good, I’ll call a meeting this Monday to brainstorm the roadmap for this. I’ll call Kadir Jasin, Matthias, Mukhriz, and some pro-Mahathir bloggers along. If we are to defeat Anwar through propaganda, Mahathir will need the support of foreigners.

Let me know as soon as possible…

Sincerely,

Dr. Hee Poh Krit

P.S.: Who are we supposed to support now? Najib or Razaleigh?

===================================

Movie Review: "Iron Man"

After watching "Iron Man" last Sunday, I can only say one thing to summarize it...

...Go see it...

Marvel's comic book character now makes the screen in live-action. The plot and technology of the 45-year old mythos has been updated once again to be relevant to today's times. From kicking Commie ass, the metal man is now kicking militant ass in the Afghan highlands. Only thing it ain't the Taliban he's ripping new assholes into... its some enigmatic militant group called the Ten Rings.

The basic storyline still remains quite the same... defense-industry mogul Tony Stark is kidnapped by militant group up to no good... builds crude armored suit to escape... kicks ass... builds better armored suit... and... kicks more ass. Yay!

And being an action film, the US Military has yet another chance since last year's "Transformers" to display their hardware like the F-22 Raptors, C-17 Globemasters, and other toys. Double Yay!

I'll leave the debate on the "militarization of entertainment" to the spoilsports. Keep in mind the American military in both movies don't do a good job in destroying the bad guys, and have to rely on animated chunks of metal to do the job.


World politics aside... go see it. No need to check your brain at the door, unlike "Fantastic 4". And don't leave during the credits, like what I did. Thats right... stay rrriiiiiiiight till the very end.


Four Stars Out of Five

===================================

Can We Have Some Non-RPK Related News On Malaysia Today?

The latest word on the vine is that Mr. Raja Petra, head of alternative news site Malaysia Today shall be released tomorrow. Yep, after a day or two in jail, RPK's gonna checkout of Hotel Sungai Buloh on a bail of 5,000 ringgit. They have the money, MT needs its editor back, and wifey is calling.

(taken & edited from Malaysia Today)

In seven hours, they collected AT LEAST a TOTAL OF 35,000 ringgit for the 'Bail Out RPK Fund'. Thats enough to bail him 7 times over.

Or enough money to buy Najib or Mat Taib 10% of a new Mercedes.


Ok, since he's gonna be out tomorrow morning, perhaps can we get back to reporting non-RPK related stuff on Malaysia Today?

Ever since he went to jail, every article on MToday has been about Raja Petra, Raja Petra, Raja Petra. Lets have something else about the government's mismanagement or their latest harebrained megaproject, can we?

Or about how Karpal's gonna get into trouble for merely questioning the Perak Sultan? Silly Karpal Singh... He should have called the Sultan a "beast" or "creature" instead... he will get away with that!

If I was some guy in the Federal Government, now is a good time to do something slimy. Because the spotlight of the alternative media is directed elsewhere..

===================================

Travel Report (Part 2): Koh Krana, Southern Thailand

Time to continue with my account of my March trip to the island paradise of Koh Krana. Like I said, only the name has been changed, but the place described here exists. Its just north of the Malaysian border... and with a little research you'll find out its real name.

=================

Day 2, 3, & 4

Back to where I left off... the boat ride only takes an hour from Langkawi's Telaga Harbor. Once you land at Koh Krana, its a whole different place altogether...

Longtail motorboat on southern beach / Pattaya Beach

Pattaya Beach
(click to enlarge)

After checking in at the Thai immigration post on the southern beach (named Pattaya beach by the locals), I had to trek through a jungle path to get to my chalet on the north of the island. There are no tarred roads here. The main form of transport on this 3km by 2km island is on foot. If you're lazy, you can hire a longtail motorboat to get you from one beach to the other.

And when it gets dark, bring a torchlight along because the jungle paths on Koh Krana will be pitch black, except at some areas. If you're superstitious or on acid, its best not to walk alone.


For only 250 baht/night (RM25), I got myself a nice chalet with an excellent view of the sea, the coral reefs, and the much larger island of Koh Adang in the back. This place is called Sunset Beach... much quieter compared to the east (Sunrise Beach) and south (Pattaya Beach) beaches. No noise from the unmuffled longtails, few tourists around, nicer beaches and coral, plus the food & drink here is a little cheaper. A great place to be if you wanna get away from it all.

The view from the chalet balcony, with Koh Adang in
the background. Its tempting to swim across...
(click to enlarge)

Beach in front of the chalets, with coral reefs just 25feet away
(click to enlarge)

Clear water... in it you can see up to 20 meters
(click to enlarge)

Of course, there's a catch; the place has no TV and phone. Hell, they only turn on the electricity at 6PM (which comes from an old truck engine modified into a generator). But don't worry about sweating up, there's always a nice breeze blowing at this part of the island, so you'll won't really have the need for a fan, what more air conditioning.

Nice chalet facing seaside directly. Bamboo furnishing. Double bed.
Beautiful coral reef offshore. Only 250 Baht. Also included...

...tree frogs in your bathroom...

...and hermit crabs on your balcony
(click to enlarge)

And since this place is right next to the jungle, you'll get all sorts of critters paying you a visit. 8-inch millipedes, big spiders, bats, lizards, tree frogs, and at night... mice. But they're jungle mice... so they're clean. Just don't leave food in your bags or around your room, because Mickey Mouse and friends will nibble at them. Trust me.

Bonus... 8-inch millipedes, especially after rain

The biggest nuisance is from the mosquitoes... they're fucking huge and will proceed to attack you the moment the sun starts to go down. However, a generous application of repellent or citronella wax to your skin will tell them to fuck off. Then, you can sit down in the veranda of your chalet and enjoy the beautiful sunset...

If this "back to basics, back to nature" place is too much for you to bear, more comfortable hotels can be found on Sunrise and Pattaya Beach. Of course they'll be more expensive...

Hey, what's that hotel's name? Click to have a closer look...

Sunset beach, on the northern part of Koh Krana.
The corals here are nicer for snorkeling
(click to enlarge)

A small pathway to the beach flanked with hibiscus

The view on the southern beach / Pattaya Beach

(click to enlarge)

A small beach hidden on the northwest side of Koh Krana.
Only accessible by hiking through a small jungle...

On the island of Koh Krana itself there is much to do, besides lazing about on the beach and ogling the topless girls lazing on the beach. The main activity is... of course, snorkeling and diving round the coral reefs. The moment you wade into the water and swim out, you'll already see several types of colorful reef fish. Twenty more meters out... and you'll see many many more... all around the corals & sea anemones below (and around you). The water is very clear... you can see up to 15-20 meters away...

One of the best moments is when you're suddenly surrounded by thousands of these blue-green 2-inch long fishes that look like anchovies (ikan bilis). Reach out with your hand to touch one of them... if you want.

If you're lucky, you might spot a stingray. Or perhaps a moray eel prowling among the corals. Stay clear of these guys, they bite bad:

"Hello..."
(taken from 'AsiaDiveSite.com')

And don't get too near the stingrays... later that night, Fiona (the woman who runs the Karma Bar) told me that some Mat Salleh tourist got stung by a ray earlier in the afternoon. Unlike Steve Irwin, she survived...

Sea anemone among the corals at low tide.
Clownfish love to hide in this thing and I
did see a few while snorkeling in deeper waters
(click to enlarge)

A baby giant clam
(click to enlarge)

A crab hides among some corals in low tide...

During the evening or morning, you can wade out a little to see the corals at low tide. This however, is a very bad time for snorkeling. The water level is too low to launch yourself and swim out... you'll only end up breaking corals and tearing your body on the reefs. Or worse, collide with a sea rambutan.


There are several places off Koh Krana great for shallow snorkeling... according to the local Sea Gypsies; between the two small islands off Sunrise Beach, a hundred meters off Pattaya Beach, and on the western/north-west part of the island close to Sunset Beach.

I had only checked out the last area on the northwest side, but still it was great. This part is 12-feet deep and you can see up to 25 meters underwater. All around you on the seafloor are endless patches of staghorn corals with parrotfish & other reef creatures darting about.

The other islands nearby Koh Krana have nicer spots for diving and snorkeling, but you'll need a boat to get there. Best to go with some friends, that way you can share the fun and the boat rental. As for me, I lack a diving license, and I only had 3 days... so I missed out the best parts of the islands.


If you wanna do some hiking & jungle trekking for the day, the island of Koh Adang is just a kilo away by boat. Nestled in the jungles of this island are a couple of waterfalls. Koh Adang also serves as a freshwater supply for Koh Krana... until a boat dropped an anchor on the undersea pipeline.


For a massage, check out the native village at Sunrise Beach. The Sea Gypsies (or Chao-Lei) are the local indigenous villagers on Koh Krana and the surrounding islands. Their main settlement is on Sunrise Beach, facing east but they also have smaller villages of several houses near Pattaya Beach & on the north. Speaking with the locals should be no big problem... many of them know Bahasa Melayu.

A Sea Gypsy/Chao-Lei fisherman

Massages are available for
a reasonable price...

Dog at village near Pattaya Beach

And at night, there's lots of beachside bars on the south where you can hang out, have a seafood dinner (freshly caught from the sea), and chat with the locals and tourists over bottles of Thai beer. Go for Singha beer... it tastes much better than Chang.

Alexandra, an Italian woman who helps to run the Cozy Cove
Bar near Karma Beach

Koh Krana has many small beachside bars like Cozy Cove. The quiet surroundings
provide great relaxation and conversation with your new pals over bottles
of beer, cigarettes, and for some... a roll of ganja

Karma Beach at nighttime

Lightning over Koh Adang. The storm missed us
on Karma Beach by several kilometers

Most of the tourists here tend to be Westerners, with Thais, Japanese and Koreans following. Despite being just next door to Langkawi, I didn't see any fellow Malaysians here.

But later on my second night there, I met some Malaysians while walking along Sunrise Beach. They were glad to see a fellow countryman on this island, and I accepted their invitation to stop by:

As you can tell, they've been drinking a bit. Yes, they were making lots of noise at 2AM and it got more amusing when they started singing 'Yellow Submarine'.

=================

On the third (and last) day, the fun came to an end. I had to catch the 3PM ferry to Langkawi, but before that... I had one last swim around the reefs before packing my stuff up and checking out. The reception/restaurant was empty however, with nobody around. A notice in broken English on the desk said the Chao-Lei woman who manages the chalets had gone to the mainland with her family for shopping. Not a soul around.

I hadn't paid her for the hut, and I could just sneak outta there... but that'll be bad karma, no? So, I placed 500 Baht (RM50) together with my chalet door key in the account book. There... all settled.


And then its out of Koh Krana, and back to Langkawi (and Malaysia)...

Sunset over Langkawi...
(click to enlarge)

It was only 3 days, but I did have a great time here with lots of stuff to do. Three full days on this island felt like six days to me. I felt sad to have to leave...

But, as Arnie Schwarzenegger said...

" I'll Be Back "

And I will...

===================================

Aw Fuck! Raja Petra Is Gonna Be Charged...

Just got this on SMS, and its also on alternative bulletin Malaysia Today. Raja Petra is required to turn himself in court tomorrow at 930 hours.

Looks like somebody in the top brass got a little worried by one of his articles...


Thats...

Jalan Duta Magistrate Court

9:30AM

Tuesday, 6th May

We're with you RPK. Kick their asses! Kick 'em hard!

===============================================

Attention KL-ites (and Penang people)

Yes, I know how irritating it is for you to be stuck in a traffic jam. And to add further insult, you have to pay a toll to get from one part of Kuala Lumpur to the other. Penang isn't any better, but at least we don't have tolls on the island. But we have more dipshits over here who plant their cars on the roadside and double-park wherever they feel like. Blocking traffic? Don't give a damn...!

And unlike Penang, you people have a far nicer arts scene, much to the delight of your fellow KL hipsters. Today, you fellas will have two events going on at the Central Market. I was gonna go down to KL for this, but I woke up late this morning after last night's Penang World Music Fest. Don't worry if you missed yesterday... the Penang WMF still goes on this evening and tomorrow at the Botanical Gardens...




And yes, you can bring in alcohol this time. Wine, beer, whiskey, or some vodka (like I did)... it doesn't matter. Just make sure you don't throw your rubbish around the place or get into fights.


Anyway, back to those two events at KL, first... there's the Art For Grabs event... going on in Central Market.




And then, there's the KL Alternative Bookfest... same place...




But if you missed today, these two events are still going on tomorrow. There's quite some stuff going on at Central Market right now as I hammer the keyboards... stuff from indie artists and artistes, authors, and film directors (like Amir M.) . Go ahead, you KL-ites.


If anyone mentions the word "singer-songwriter" again, I will shoot him with a tazer...

===============================================

Just Change It!

Time for a renovation of this website... the current algae-green layout is too outdated and too common. Besides, the layout wastes space; on a fully maximized browser, there are empty columns on the left and right, and my writings often appear cramped.

So I hope you like this new makeover. Not quite minimalist, though...

======================

Another thing about personal blogs... ever notice that many of them tend to be lifestyle blogs run by women? Most of the postings will be about trivial stuff... like excitingly showing-off their dolled up new iPod, or what they had for dinner. Included are tons of photos of some exotic Mediterranean pasta and a glass of Chianti... taken from different angles at some highclass Italian restaurant.

And yes, the page normally takes hours to load thanks to all these high-definition snapshots of a plate of pasta at different angles...

Hm, someone should make a parody...

Anyone Remembered Playing "Doom"?

Back in 1993, everyone in my Primary 6 class who had a computer at home were practically talking about this new shoot-em-up game called "DOOM". At that time, the most advanced desktop system was the 486DX. The Pentium was still in the final stages of research in Intel's arcane laboratories... and the "Internet" was some virtual reality world filled with fluorescent-green grid lines, giant cubes & other early-90s computer graphics, according to sci-fi movies at that time.




I remembered how my friends and I were scared by those demons that came charging towards us. The pixellated graphics and sounds of DOOM was something very advanced (and terrifying) to us 12-year old schoolkids... and many other grown-up gamers around the world. Some of us did get nightmares...

Well, that was 15 years ago...

And btw, Cyberdemon(s) vs. Imps:

Travel Report: A Trip To An Island Paradise Near Langkawi (Pt.1)

Nearby the island of Langkawi, in Thai territory, is an island I can only call Paradise. If Belinda Carlisle sang "Heaven Is A Place On Earth", this phrase would aptly describe this place. Despite having no cars, no 5-star resorts, no fancy restaurants, no shopping arcades, and no gargantuan statues of eagles spreading their wings, this place beats Langkawi anytime. No, its not Pulau Payar.

Throughout this article, I will not refer to this paradise by its true name. Instead, this island shall be referred to by the imaginary name of "Koh Krana". The island actually exists, just the name in this article is made-up, to protect it from an increasing horde of tourists like you and me. It is up to you to utilize the power of the Internets to find out what and where this island really is... (hint, its near Langkawi...). By the end of this article you might even have guessed its real name. Who knows?

Welcome to "Koh Krana"....

Fellow blogger 'Magpie' has been here before, where he stayed at the really nice "Castaway Resort". But for me, I'm only half his age, and unlike him... do not have any political connections with Najib Tun Razak, and hence, not as rich (although chalets at the Castaway are only RM250 per night). So I settled for less than luxurious dwellings on the north of the island.

The only way to Koh Krana from Malaysian soil is through Langkawi. And since both the ferry and speedboat leaves early in the morning, you'll have to stay overnight in Langkawi. At least you'll get the chance to buy some cheap tax-free liquor to take with you to Thailand. Since you're gonna be in an island resort, I recommend Bacardi.

Those familiar with Southern Thailand can drive up all the way to Pak Bara and take the ferry from there. But your car may no longer be there when you get back...

=================

Day 1

Since I arrived from Penang late Thursday morning, I had no choice but to spend a night on Langkawi and catch my speedboat from the Telaga Harbor Marina the next day. Well, better make the most of it, so I booked a taxi to Pantai Cenang, where all the hotels by the beach were and where all the fun is at. My previous trip to Langkawi was 8 years ago... I wondered what had changed since then...

Cenang Beach at sunset...

Now this was during Muhammad's birthday, a long holiday weekend where Langkawi would be packed with weekend tourists. As I had not booked my accomodations on this island, I went from hotel to motel alongside Cenang Beach asking if they had vacancy, only to be told they were full-up. Those that had rooms were too expensive for my budget. My luck changed at the exoticly-sounding "Rasa Eksotika", which certainly lived up to its name. For RM70 per night, you get a room nicely decorated with Oriental & Indonesian curios hung from the walls, draped across the sofas, or spread out on the floor. Also included; air-conditioning, television, and a minibar. A very good deal indeed.

As I had only budgeted for Langkawi as a stopover, I didn't do much except hang around the bars, drink RM2 beers and finish this excellent book, which I'll talk about later. Anyway, I've been told by the locals that many of the tourist attractions such as the hot springs on the island had been overdeveloped like what they did to Ulu Legong, and the coral reefs off Datai Beach had died out.

Fire dancers on Cenang Beach, near the Babylon rasta bar...

If there's something to be said about Langkawi, is that there seems to be a lot of pseudo-Rastafarian Malays on this island. :p In fact, I spent the evening at one of the many many reggae bars alongside Pantai Cenang where I chatted the night away with two local Rastas, and several backpackers. Perhaps the Rastas' have a secret community hidden in the forested hills of the island... growing ganja and singing Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" by the fireside? They'll be throwing a Moonlight Party on one of the islands' off Pantai Cenang on Saturday, but I wouldn't be able to join them as I'd be in Koh Krana around then.

=================

Day 2

One of the many luxury yatches moored at Telaga...

Early next morning, I took the cab to Telaga Harbor, along Pantai Kok. This beach had budget hotels and chalets years ago... until the local tourism authority decided to kick them out and build several luxury resorts in their place. Also included in the construction was the Telaga Harbor Marina, now managed by the famous/infamous Dato' Azhar Mansor.

Azhar Mansor's sailboat, which he used to sail
round the world. Now on permanent display...

In exchange for some bread for breakfast, I donated RM12 into Dr.Mahathir's war chest to fight Badawi:

I'm sure you know who owns this bakery...

Below where I sat, boats gently bobbed about in the morning sun. On the deck of a luxury yatch, was a hot Malay chick... up early, and yakking in a very Mat Salleh accent into her cellphone, as her servants scrubbed the deck around her.

Just before leaving to board my speedboat, I caught a glimpse of Azhar Mansor through an open office door. At his desk... tapping away at a laptop. Probably another business deal with some yachtsman from abroad...


And then, its off to Koh Krana...

(to be continued...)

Rick Astley On A Friday Afternoon

There's something about driving down the Penang coastal expressway on a sunny Friday afternoon, and the DJ on Red.FM plays an 80s Rick Astley song...




In case the above YouTube embed gets killed... go here instead...

The 80s would have been a shitty decade with its terrible fashion, over-synthesized music, big curly hair, hair metal, and cars that looked like boxes. But that was the 1980s, so thats all forgiven now.

The Internet goons have a new Net meme called rickrolling, employing the 80s kitsch of Mr. Astley's song...


T.G.I.F.

UMNO Logic: Teresa Kok = Geert Wilders

Its been a month since the election. The state governments have been sworn-in with their respective Governors, Chief Ministers, and Executive Councilors. The new Pakatan Rakyat governments in the Northern States are just beginning to find their feet. Meanwhile, all is not quiet on the National Front. They're still smarting from the humiliation of losing not just one, but FIVE states... a first in the history of Malaysia.

My website isn't supposed to be a political bitch-site but the past few postings have been slowly morphing it into one. So I'm going to take a break from politics both foreign and local and go on to other things for a change. But first...


If all you ever read is Utusan Malaysia, and you consider them a "keystone of truthful media", "paragon of fairness and accuracy" or some other clichéd phrase, then you would think the Member of Parliament for Seputeh, Teresa Kok... is like the equivalent of Geert Wilders. Yes, that Mr. Wilders who recently trolled the whole Muslim world with his new film 'Fitna'.

And the reason why Teresa Kok should be worthy of contempt equal to that heaped on Mr. Wilders, is because of a proposed new pig-farm that she supports. Never mind that Chief Minister/MB Mr. Khalid, and the conservative PAS have also endorsed the piggy-project. They're Malays, and what Utusan needs to do is to stoke up animosity between the Malays and the non's, the Muslims and the non's, so hopefully the Malay Muslims will be filled with narrow ethnic-supremacist sentiment and go back to their Lord & Saviour... UMNO.

Today's Letters section in the Utusan paper was entirely devoted to the pig-farm issue, and one particularly amusing entry written by a pissed-off reader, compared Teresa to Geert Wilders. I wonder what justifies her hyperbole to attack Teresa from a purely religious standpoint? She doesn't consume the meat of the swine anyways.

Now, lets not say any opposition to this project is unfounded. The problem is in Malaysia, animal husbandry and waste abatement technology is light-years behind. Without tech and lack of government enforcement and zoning, you'll get the problem of pig-farms vs. irate nearby residents. Everyone has a NIMBY policy to any pig, goat, duck, chicken farm near their town... because they all fucking stink. I know, because the office/laboratory where I work now is right BEHIND a pig farm that doesn't have any waste treatment technologies. When the wind blows in our direction, you'll get a very awful feeling that not only attacks your nose with a godawful stench, but also your sense of feeling. Your body feels enveloped in a humid miasma, and you sweat. Sometimes you feel the sweat is actually pig-vapors condensing on your skin.

Although to Utusan, the solution seems to be to totally eliminate pig-farming in Malaysia, due to religious reasons. Forget about waste treatment technology and relocating farms to podunk places where nobody lives, no... all they seem to want is Total Elimination. Never mind that the industry serves the dietary needs of 30% to 40%-odd Malaysians, screw them! They can pay several times more to import pork... after all, all Chinese are rich and drive BMWs, right? Well, that sort of exclusivist thinking is one reason why BN/UMNO got their ass kicked in March 8.

Speaking of which, ever since BN's ass-beating in the election, all Utusan's Letter's section seem to be the same old rehashed moaning about how the Malays are gonna lose their birthrights to those sneaky Chinese and Indians, how the Malays will end up like the Singaporean Malays (richer perhaps?), or Palestinians (I'm still trying to picture the idea of DAP-Keadilan troops smashing down Malay houses with battle tanks and Caterpillar dozers). I'm starting to think that many of these letters are written by the editor himself, considering that the format & writing style of many of them are very similar...

After all, I don't call it "Utusan Meloya*" for no reason...



* Meloya means 'nauseating'

PS: I don't buy the Utusan papers, I just read off their webpage...

Move Over Annabel Chong! Here Comes Sufiah!

To generalize, Singaporeans have always been hungry for success and global recognition. That sort of thing happens when your country is a little red dot on the world map and only makes headlines for banning chewing gum, ass-whipping spoilt brats, and executing people for marijuana. The government headed by Lee Kuan Yew has always emphasized policies of success in education and career; hence the infamous uber-competitive "kiasu" attitude of many Singaporeans and their aim to achieve the 5C's:

Condo (luxury)
Car (luxury also)
Credit Card (Gold Card, minimum)
Career (lawyer, doctor, rich-ass corporate asshole, etc.)
and Country-Club membership.

And Global Recognition.

In 1995, a Singaporean woman achieved worldwide fame and put the little nation on the map. Her success story? It wasn't becoming the Richest Person In The World or discovering the cure to cancer. The woman, named Grace Quek (aka Annabel Chong), had broken the dubious world record of having sex with the most men. In 10 hours, she had done over 250 sex acts with 70-odd men.

That's banging 7 guys per hour... ouch.


In a way, Annabel Chong is one example of the Singaporean Success Story... a mutated and twisted version of the Singapore Success Story.

Think of it... no matter how you look at it, its still the case of a Singaporean top scorer (CGPA of 3.70), performance artist and web designer... achieving fame and breaking world records. After all, Lee Kuan Yew wanted Singaporeans who would be successful, famous, and break records, and here she was...

==========

Now, its Malaysia's turn with a girl called Sufiah Yusof. In 1997, thanks to the efforts of her ambitious parents... she became the youngest person ever to enroll in Oxford University's mathematics programme. At only 13-years old. THIRTEEN.

Now you'll say... SUFIAH ISN'T MALAYSIAN, DAMMIT! True, only her mom is. But hey, we Malaysians... like our Kiasuland rivals... want global recognition too, and we're eager to hitch a ride on any global personality, no matter now tiny the connection to our country. Cmon, when David Beckham apparently had an affair with a "grew-up-in-Malaysia" woman by the name of Sarah Marbeck, the local press went crazy with this "achievement" for Malaysia. I remembered my sister bitching about this over the phone...

And eager for recognition, the Malaysian government claimed her as one of our own, and footed the bill for Sufiah's studies. The Malay papers, I remembered, were heralding the genesis of a Malay Supergenius, a young girl crafted into a prodigy by her parent's "Islamic methods". Sufiah would serve as an inspiration to the Malays demi bangsa, agama, dan negara (for race, religion, and nation).


Today, Sufiah Yusof is working as an escort:

"Hiii! Who wants Math's tuition?"

Think about it also... Like Grace Quek, in a way, Sufiah is an example of the Malaysian Success Story that has succeeded in achieving international fame... albeit a mutated and twisted version of the Malaysian Success Story. Also unlike Grace, Sufiah makes much much more money without having to bang over 70-plus men in 10 hours or "pioneer new moves like triple-penetration".

Take that, Singapore!







Of course, this story is mostly useless without pictures... so here's the link to the news article of Sufiah, another link from a Malaysian paper, and more photos...